This PSA Brought to You By Someone Who Cares!

You know you were just itching for a thought-provoking, life-affirming, and otherwise "Ooooh"-inspiring post from me! Admit it! Come on, you had to have been!


Okay so maybe this is worth reading. Maybe not. Either way, you might as well continue, to find out why.


Social networking sites are a fabulous way for people to keep better in-touch with each other. What used to be too minuscule or mundane to incorporate into something like a letter (or even email) has found it's day! We now can know that you had peanut butter for lunch, can't find your matching socks, and were really bored this afternoon, because you said so on a status update. "What's on your mind?" has become quite the thing to read, and we're finding the answer, in many cases, to be: not much. However, I have noticed that this greater connection has not exactly been the emotional panacea so many have (perhaps secretly) hoped it to be. Amazing, actually, how many people have found that it really hasn't helped their lives be more rich, more full, less empty than they may have felt before they joined.


Now, there are many socks in this mental drawer that relate to this topic, but there is one that has been caught lurking near the front for some time, for me. You know what I mean, right? That one that catches your eye and you keep thinking, "I should get to that", but you keep putting it off, and eventually you either get to it or realize you're never gonna wear it, so you throw it out. So yes, this is another of my soapbox SoCk moments. If you don't like it, stop reading my blog! :P


This particular post relates to the people who resent other people for not visibly caring enough about them. (In the interest of fair and honest disclosure, I should probably admit I sometimes do it, too, in some ways. Okay, in the interest of fair and honest disclosure, I should admit I should write this post because likely, it's gonna either teach me something or not get posted. Yes, I'm human. *ahem* Where was I? Oh yes...) These people are the ones who get upset because they don't have enough people who step in when they want them to, and say/do just what they want of them. They might end relationships because the other person(s) "don't care enough about them". If someone doesn't put effort into the relationship, why keep the relationship, right? They feel there is no point putting emotional stock into someone who doesn't regularly feed into it.


To those people, I would like to suggest a kind of litmus test. Why? Because it's my blog, and I can do whatever I want with it. Because I want to be able to let my mind wander onto other things. Because I care, both about you and about your relationships. Because often I learn a lot writing this stuff, and I'm curious what my head is gonna come out with next. Not limited to this list, and not necessarily in that order.


The test goes something like this (but may not be written as simply as could be, simply because I have a habit of not writing as simply as could be):


Think about the relationship. More specifically, since clearly you already have been or you wouldn't have chosen one so quickly, think about the last, several interactions you have had with the other person. Say, at least the last ten or so.  Then consider a few questions:


1~ Of those interactions, how many were initiated by you? How many of those were times you called/wrote/IM'd them, and how many began with their effort?


2~ During those interactions, how many times did they ask you how you were doing, how life was going, etc.?


3~ How many times have you asked them how they were doing? Did you ask how their life was going? 
3a ~ Did you care to know the answers?


4~ If the answers are not equal, why not?


If it seems that in the majority of your interactions with the person in question, there is a significant inequality of effort, either because they are doing more than you, or because you are doing more than they, perhaps you may wish to further evaluate the quality of your relationship. This is a rather dangerous endeavor, however, because sometimes this can lead to a desire for change, and with a great enough desire for change, change nearly invariably happens, whether you like it or not. So be careful what you wish.


If you find that you realize you are one of those people who tends to take more than give, perhaps you might try an experiment to see if caring about others brings you more satisfaction (if only because others think you do actually care, and thus respond with positive energy). If, on the other hand, you find that you are exhausting yourself giving, only to receive very little in return for your compassionate efforts, perhaps it is time to re-evaluate your position.


I of course cannot judge you, nor tell you what your choices must be, for only you know your true state of things and therefore only you can decide for yourself. I can, however, say that I have found in my own experience, love sent into the Universe is never wasted, but loving and respecting one's self is also a very wise investment. Perhaps it all boils down to balance, and a being's great desire for it. Qi, perhaps.


But that may be a SoCk for another moment, another day. This was simply a ramble in effort to get a thought processed, and I shared it because sometimes I find others can either benefit or contribute, and either are thoroughly appreciated and encouraged. So feel free to ramble back at me.


~ Me